I’m Human.

And like all human’s who celebrate New Years, I like to make resolutions.  And again, like all human’s, I generally fail those resolutions.

The resolution was to watch 250 new films in the year 2010.  When I made this resolution in December of 2009, I figured I wasn’t going to have a job and would need to spend a lot of time distracting myself from the stresses of unemployment.  Thankfully, things didn’t go according to plan.

I’ve been extremely lucky and blessed with a lot of work.  I’ve been very busy and sometimes, watching a movie was just too distracting for my work environment.  Due to this success, I was able to afford a new short film I’ve been dreaming up for over a year.  This was something I couldn’t pass up.

I have a saying: “I’d rather make a movie than watch a movie.”  So for the past few months, half of my time and energy has been dedicated to my motion design (my job) and the other half has been dedicated to my new short film Incubator.  So watching movies has been put at the bottom of my priority list.

I feel like I’ve given the first half of the year a noble effort.  I’ve watched 85 films which is more movies than some people see in a decade.  I’ve also watched a few dozen films I’ve already seen before.  So I don’t feel too bad.  But I’m also not giving up.

I’m heading to Washington DC for the next three months to work with Shine Creative.  They tell me it’s going to be “all hands on deck” and pretty crazy.  So I’m not planning on sitting back and watching the newest release on Netflix.  But I will give it a shot.  My resolution is not dead, it’s just updated.

I no longer plan on watching 250 new films in the year 2010.  But I do plan on watching 250 new films as quickly as possible.  So this blog will document how long it takes me to do just that.  I’m thinking by March 2011, I can hit 250.  But we’ll see.  What is your bet?  

So for those of you who read BULLETS + BLOODSHED, fear not.  I will still review the new movies I see.  And if you’re just joining us, sit tight.  When I get to 125, I’ll post an All Star list of the best films out of the first 125.

So that’s the deal.  Wish me luck in DC, but more importantly…wish me luck on watching 165 more films as quickly as possible.

Every once in a while there is a film that reminds you why you love movies.  Better yet, a film that proves why movies are great.  Inception is definitely on that list.  It would take me a long time to write all the things I loved about this movie: the idea, the themes, the cast, the action sequences, the writing, the direction, the effects, the pacing, the editing, the sound, the score…I can’t name them all.  So all I can say is see this movie.  Immediately.  Don’t wait.  See it now…tonight!  It truly is a dream come true.

When this movie got really good reviews, I was surprised.  The trailers didn’t impress me and generally, glossy “scary movies” without a genre filmmaker are usually terrible.  But go ahead and count me as totally wrong because The Crazies is great.  From start to finish, this puppy is a nail-biter with plenty of gore and make up effects.  Timothy Olyphant continues to build on his resume and Breck Eisener showed me why he’s attached to a couple of upcoming tent pole franchises.  For a glossy film with a modest budget, The Crazies packed one hell of a punch and also features one of the best kills I’ve seen in a long time.

I don’t want Pixar to start making live-action films, but can’t they just help people who make live-action films?  Jesus.  This movie was GREAT.  How do they do it?  It’s the third film of a series.  Besides a few exceptions, third films are never good.  It’s been a while since I’ve seen the first two, but I can’t believe they’re better than this one.  But that’s the magic of Pixar.  You see anyone of them and they’re the best one.  ”Ratatouille isn’t very good!”  Then you watch it again and you’re like, “Damnit this movie is awesome!”  Anyway, Toy Story 3.  Amazing.

I heard about this movie a while ago and thought it sounded great.  It’s the type of “one room thriller” I love.  A guy gets stuck in a car windshield after a girl runs him over and she won’t let him escape.  That’s the whole movie.  And you know what?   It’s awesome.  I loved this movie.  Not only is a great concept for a film, but characters are what sell it.  The antagonists are three dimensional and the decisions they make are great for the film.  I couldn’t figure out why this movie was so good until I saw who directed it: Stuart Gorden.  Director of Re-Animator…one of the best movies ever made.  If that doesn’t make you want to see Stuck, I don’t know what will.

I really wanted this movie to be the bookend on Heath Ledger’s brilliant career.  Sadly, it isn’t.  It’s very creative and even with this film being completed after his tragedy, the way they work around it is seamless, but that just doesn’t cut it.  The movie is long, slow, and straight up boring.  Pretty sad.  To be honest, I wouldn’t recommend it.

Let’s face it. Uwe Boll is probably the worst director of our generation.  You know it and I know it.  The problem is, I don’t think I’ve sat through a single one of his films.  So if I’m gonna make a claim like that, I better have the evidence to back it up.  Since I have a lot more movies to watch, I might as well watch a couple of his.

Yeah, this movie’s pretty terrible.  But is it the worst movie ever?  Hell no.  It’s boring, awful, stupid, and not entertaining, but come on.  The Asylum puts out a worse movie every couple of weeks.  Give the guy a break.

*LIST OF SHAME*

Whenever you’re laste to the game on a classic film, you have to take some things into consideration.  You have to look for what was probably really cool when it came out.  Other times, they simply don’t hold up because they weren’t good in the first place.  Unfortunately, Phantasm was that type of film.  I have literally no idea how this movie is considered a classic.  It’s not scary, the acting is horrible, the plot is weird but not in a cool way, the music is terrible…there’s virtually nothing appealing about this movie at all.  It’s not even charming.  Maybe I’m missing something.  But I’m really just hoping it’s considered a classic because it is so terrible.

If you don’t know who Danny Trejo is, you’ve probably never seen a movie…or at least any good ones.  This bad ass is one of my favorite actors ever, but his personal story is cooler than any movie he’s been in.  So if you have any interest in finding out how this guy became tougher than he looks (which is saying a lot) but also one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, check out this movie.   

I think the reason Splice didn’t disturb me as much as some is because I watch absolutely disgusting movies like Aftermath.  It may be a short film (33 mins. long) but it packs a punch.  In that short amount of time, it goes where no other feature I have seen has gone before.  If you thought dying was the worst thing that could happen to you, you were dead wrong.  I like my favorite horror films to have a little meat to them (just a little meaning or maybe some cool themes) and while I’m still searching for those in Aftermath, the brilliant filmmaking leaves me completely satisfied.  If you’re a bit squeamish or have ever been offended by any movie, I suggest you avoid this one like the morgue.